Playing the College Student Card

KaylanSchardanBy Kaylan Schardan

The last seven years of my life have included the title of “college student” as a part of my identity. Yes, I know, it’s a bit pathetic that it has taken me seven years to complete a four year degree but ignore that for a moment. This is FINALLY my last semester of college. I’ve looked forward to this for so long but now that it’s here I must admit it’s a bit unnerving.
I’m realizing that I’ve used the fact that I’m a college student to explain away some of my shortcomings. Running short on cash? Working a job you hate? Getting paid less than your high school allowance? I can explain that all; I’m in college.

I’ve even used college as an excuse to escape the awkward decline of a sales pitch with my famous line and shrug, “Sorry, I’m a poor college student.” Nine times out of ten the sales person will leave you alone and walk away.

You see, I’ve found that people are more accepting and sympathetic to you when you explain you’re still in school. There’s an understanding that while in college you will likely struggle financially, work jobs you hate, and have an overall lack of direction in life, but what happens when you graduate?

How will I explain my dwindling bank account, my unstable work environment, or the fact that I still have no idea what I’m going to do with my life? To be honest I don’t even know how a 401(k) works or why I need one. How can I possibly be ready to graduate?

Sometimes I feel like a weird lost kid in the mall who screams, “I need an adult!” But wait, I am adult. That’s a scary thought if you ask me.

In just a few months my excuse for not having my life figured out will go out the window. Should I find something else to explain away my faults? Perhaps I can pretend that I’m foreign refuge starting my life out in a new country. Although I assume I won’t be able to pull off an accent and some might find that slightly offensive. I guess I could keep enrolling in college. I’m already swimming in student debt so what’s a few thousand more, right?

If I was a real adult I would admit that I still don’t have it figured out and it’s not the end of the world. Luckily I still have a few months before that becomes a reality and until then I think I will try to enjoy the last of my college experience as I put on my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt and watch South Park. It’s ok if I’m not ready to own the fact that I’m adult. After all, I’m just a college student.